American femal sex dating
Because we still view chastity as so important, as such a paragon of virtue, that even an encounter that stops short of violating it can be viewed as an outrage. By her own account she was excited about being on a date with Ansari and went pretty far with him voluntarily — at least initially.
But when the notion of sex was introduced, she got scared because she’s been raised in a society that places distinctive value on female chastity.
Because if she becomes pregnant through that act, she now faces nine months of gestation and, in our society, at least eighteen years of personal responsibility for that child.
That’s not to say the man isn’t also responsible — but not in the same way, both from a physical standpoint and what society expects of mothers.
For women, this means constant competition for a small pool of men. In North America only 20% — which means these women have immediately reduced their eligible dating pool by 4/5ths.
Let’s take a common example from SOD, where it’s common to see women ask for a man “six feet or taller” who “has his shit together” (i.e. The wealthy “has his shit together” part is more difficult to define, but suffice it to say that in an economy where wages have been stagnant for 30 years and –50k of student debt (if not more) is common, again here is a place where many men simply fail to measure up.
I won’t defend his behavior, because if Grace’s account was even vaguely accurate it sounds like Aziz behaved boorishly — but again, let’s remember, he didn’t force her to do anything, nor did he break any laws, and even she says he apologized once he realized things hadn’t gone well and that she was upset. Because we still view men as having more agency in sexual relationships than women.
OK, here we go…If you’re not a rich, handsome man or an exceptionally beautiful and/or young woman (and sometimes even despite these things), finding a romantic partner in the modern world is difficult. On one hand, the institution of marriage is crumbling before our eyes — not because of gay marriage or anything like that of course — but because the religious and community pressures to remain in a marriage through difficult times and/or a loss of attraction for one’s partner is gone. We can choose to get married, be polygamous, hook up, or live with/date that ubiquitous partner, the boyfriend or girlfriend.
Female Chastity For example, most people in our society place an extremely high value in female chastity, when in point of fact it has no real value.
Please understand: I’m not suggesting women shouldn’t have control over their sexuality or that consent doesn’t matter. What I am saying, however, is that we place an oversize value on whether or not a woman has sex, period — especially if that sex is casual or takes place outside of a traditional relationship.
I should point out here that some people are just happy to be in a relationship — any relationship — and have little to no discretion as long as they’re sleeping next to a warm body.
I’m not judging those people, but they tend to be less good looking, less successful, and less discerning than others.