Dating a reclusive person
But my friends were here first, they’ve had my heart for years and in some cases decades they’re my heart and soul and I’m lucky that Boyfriend has never had a problem with that.
Sometimes the best thing about Boyfriend is his ability to be logical, something I sorely lack; he never gets emotional when I bail on him to spend a night in with my roomie or a night out for wings with the boys and he never intrudes on the most holy of days, Sunday brunch – unless he’s been invited.
So when we got together I decided I wouldn’t be the girl who gets a boyfriend and promptly disappears from existence.
It isn’t easy to be a good friend, a good girlfriend, a good pet parent and keep it together at work but it’s doable, even if it’s a little stressful at times.
When Boyfriend and I started dating I made a conscious effort to stay in touch with all of my friends; as a gal with a tumultuous relationship with her family my friends are literally the most important people in my life.
My friends keep me sane, they are my brunch buddies, they are my sounding board, they are brilliant, they are my happy place and they are the people who will be there for me if Boyfriend ever leaves me.
– Alone with a Loner You're not wrong to want more. In your case, it's not about longing for a date to family occasions, it's about building a shared life. You didn't tell us whether you've confronted him much about the issue. The compromise could be trying smaller gatherings – maybe a dinner with two friends or a few family members.
He is not antisocial from a personality standpoint – he has an engaging and bright personality – but he participates very sparingly in family events.
We spend most of our time one-on-one; he does not like to go out much, hates crowds, etc.
This puts me in a position where I am dateless to weddings, funerals, company parties, and dinners. There is also no opportunity for me to engage or participate in his life socially because he does not have/attend events.
I don't see this changing, and I am now unsure of my feelings about the absence of creating memories and traditions with him.