Dating for losers
You understand how he handles and manages stress, his priorities and how he takes care of himself. Essentially, you understand someone much more when you meet his friends and family and see how he lives.
You see how he interacts with his roommates and friends. There are certain traits that are tolerable to a lesser extent, but if any of the traits listed below persist for longer than a few weeks, it is safe to say you are dating a loser and might want to consider moving onto the next guy.
'' And as you get older it's hard to find a deep bond with people because you've had rich lives and you haven't lived them together.'' After a few unremarkable dates, Ms.
Carrington, whose husband died several years ago, said she recently had dinner with an investment adviser she met through the service and felt drawn to him because of a shared experience with a family member's mental illness.'' Just to have someone in the running is nice,'' she said.
But they are more often trumped by a pervasive dissatisfaction with singles bars, dates set up by friends and other accepted ways of meeting prospective mates.'' My brother told me to join a canoeing club or something stupid like that,'' said Dan Eddy, 28, who met his fiancée, Sherry Sivik, 27, of North Ridgeville, Ohio, on She refused to meet him for weeks, afraid he would be ''some kind of lunatic.'' But after hearing that Mr. Sivik's friends, who had a long-running joke about trying to find her a bald guy with a Jeep, knew it was all over.
As word spreads of successful matches, the stigma of advertising for a romantic partner online rather than waiting for friends and fate to conjure one is fading.
Buss, author of '' The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating'' (Revised edition, Basic Books, 2003).
Helen Gaitanis, 35, of Los Angeles searches only for white men aged 33 to 43 who are at least 5-foot-9. Gaitanis found that when she did send an e-mail message to a man, he almost never responded.
She refrains from filtering out brown eyes, despite her strong preference for blue. Instead, she is concentrating on refining her profile and updating it often enough that it does not get lost in search results, as profiles are generally ranked in order of the latest updated.
Greg Bush, 34, an emergency room doctor in Huntington Beach, Calif., swears by Eharmony, one of several sites that profess to take a more scientific approach to the matchmaking process.
Prospective subscribers to Eharmony, founded by a psychologist, fill out a long questionnaire, and the service says they are rejected if it appears a match for them cannot be found.'' She's gorgeous,'' said Mr.