Funny rules for dating

Editor’s note: We have recently found out that the “Rules for Dating My Son” were taken from the blog of April Sopczak.It was a humorous take on the “Rules for Dating My Daughter.” See April’s original post here.As a new boyfriend, you’d rather get your skull drilled than meet your date’s old man for the first time, yet meet him you did.You’d throw your shoulders back and wipe your clammy paw against your sweater in anticipation of his too-firm handshake.Often, you have to swoosh them out with a broom, while they hiss at you the entire time. Must agree that light beer is fine, but decaf coffee is “merely a cup of lies.”[email protected]: @erskinetimes MORE FROM THE MIDDLE AGES: Fall makes all of us see routine things with fresh eyes, even coffee-flavored onions Our columnist has cargo shorts and a bullhorn: Let the revolution begin!Still, as my lovely older daughter points out, “New York guys can be tamed and eventually make excellent pets.”Look, she likes this fellow — that’s the most important thing. Plus, he has a very cool mustache, which conveys both wisdom and an enlightened sense of personal style. So before I left, I asked Justin to sign a short legal document that I am in the process of getting notarized.

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Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me.Once upon a time, callow young men almost always met their dates’ dads.This ritual vetting was an important part of protecting the human species from random romantic mistakes.Must agree that life is a compilation of elusive little truths that, when piled up like sugar cubes, form the foundation on which everything else in the universe rests. When watching “Wheel of Fortune,” must be able to shout outlandish, nonsensical answers that aren’t even close. We know there are gender differences and gender stereotypes. Don’t you realize this is the prelude to every mother-in-law joke there is?

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