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Despite her sexual acting out history – Mary was highly motivated to make her marriage work and keep her family together.

Today there are a few precious resources for female sex and love addicts include the recent book, “Waiting to Heal” by Kelly Mc Daniel MFT, “Women, Sex and Addiction” by Charlotte Kasl.

How are you gonna feel romantic about a girl like that?

"Neither Nick nor John has had a girlfriend in the last few years; Brian had one until recently but confesses, "I cheated....

Do you feel that you’re not “really alive” unless you are with your sexual/romantic partner? Have you ever threatened your financial stability, career or standing in the community by pursuing a sexual partner? Have you ever had a serious relationship threatened or destroyed because of outside sexual activity? Do you feel that life would have no meaning without a love relationship or without sex?

Do you feel that you would have no identity if you were not someone’s lover? Do you find yourself flirting with or sexualizing someone even if that was not your intention? Does your sexual and/or romantic behavior affect your reputation? Do you feel uncomfortable about your masturbation because of the frequency with which you masturbate, the fantasies you engage in, the props you use, and/or the places in which you do it? Are you unable to concentrate on other areas of your life because of thoughts or feelings you are having about another person or about sex? Do you find yourself obsessing about a specific person or sexual act even though these thoughts bring pain, craving or discomfort?

Emblematic of this problem is our cultural reference for the man who is generating a lot of sexual contacts: “stud,” whereas a woman engaging in the same types of activity is referenced as “slut” or “nympho.” This kind of prejudice leaves those women with sexual and romantic behavior problems more highly subject to shame and prejudice – and therefore less likely to get help.Below are is an abbreviated list of 20 key “questions” adapted from the Sex and Love Addicts literature that might help a woman self-determine if she has this type of problem.More about SLAA can be found at: I a female sex and love addict? Do you feel that your life is becoming or is unmanageable because of your sexual and/or romantic behavior or your excessive dependency needs? Do you find yourself unable to stop seeing a specific person even though you know that seeing this person is destructive to you? Do you feel that you don’t want anyone to know about your sexual or romantic activities?Does this mean that there are no female sex addicts?If there are women out there who are acting out with sex, where are they and why don’t we hear more about them?

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