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Bring in an older compassionate couple in the church, maybe even with the same story, to protect both of you from sinning against one another in the ways we mentioned above. If your partner with a sexual past is already in the company of a church and has been walking in the light of a pastoral team, the resources probably exist there for help.They are known, and they are trusted, and this is a great situation to come into (Philippians ).Don’t buy into the temptation to dwell on the ways you are deficient — the temptation to self-destruct.The gospel reminds us: the Beloved expect you to conform to patterns of her previous sexual partners, they are not ready to date — that is, they are not ready to be trusted with your (or anyone else’s) heart.If this topic has been especially painful or difficult for you, it might be helpful to commit to refrain from speaking about it except with an older couple or in premarital counseling.The conversation should not mainly be about the issue of history, but of maturity.Talk with some sane, godly (confidential) friends your partner. Humble yourself and recognize that your partner with a sexual past may very well understand grace now far better than you do (Philippians 2:3). To stake our value in being the best at everything in a future spouse’s life is absurd.

Here are six truths to help still your heart, quiet the lies, and proceed with compassionate caution and wisdom in a relationship with someone who has a sexual history. Whether you measure up to anyone else or not, if you buy into the lie that love should be quantified, you destroy real intimacy.The twin emotions of judged when you feel the weight of your partner’s regret and struggle to process what their sins mean for you.Obsession, because you want to let the past be the past, but only after your own morbidly detailed investigation — and because you stubbornly refuse to be rejected and overlooked for the purity which you’ve guarded so diligently.You always have the choice to experience our sites without personalized advertising based on your web browsing activity by visiting the DAA's Consumer Choice page, the NAI's website, and/or the EU online choices page, from each of your browsers or devices.To avoid personalized advertising based on your mobile app activity, you can install the DAA's App Choices app here.

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